live a life, with choices to make .

life , there's always choices.
but the one thing hard about these choices,
is which to choose the right thing.
your heart is not a .machine.
it turns according to mood .
i really had a hard time choosing the right thing.
sometimes what i really want to choose,
i scared it fail what it i wasn't meant to be.
sometimes the choice i feel will be better, will make me feel guilty.
idk what to do seriously.

exam is around the corner.
dear lord, you're full with widsom and tricks.
all these challenges would make me stronger
but i would also want to know the answer i chose for my choice.
my feel felt numb, but it wont make me drop tears.
instead a text message could make me stay up this night . how silly.
dear lord, i love you sincerely.
i didn't did anything good.
therefore i wouldnt deserve anything better.
and i won't ask for request .

dear lord, i've many question in my mind.
i know what to do but i don't understand how should i do.
i dont now how to describe this.

should i tell her, i miss her too? a lot ?
should i give a hope to her and myself ?
or should i continue living a single life where
i could do everything stabily.
perhaps combined?

i miss you but i can't be with you.
because i'm afraid to step deeper .
i ever thought of me not being perfect enough for you?
i'm selfish in my thoughts.
maybe i would like to treat myself better.
i could explain a million words how i miss you but
i couldn't hear ever again a million times how you love me from you .

i can't meet you, i scared i cant control myself
to hug you and tell how much i love you
till i cant let go of you .